Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Top 5 Buttons To Push To Send Me To Mummy Breakdowns...

Obviously parenting is hard and being main caregiver is one hell of an rollercoaster. You kind of anticipate all the predictable things driving you bananas (sleep deprivation, tantrums in Costa, stains on your new sofas, little/no down time, all the snot) and prepare yourself for it and actually recently I've realised I've been in the mothering-trenches a while now and I'm pretty weathered to all this stuff.  No smugness here though because actually it's just new and truly random stuff that's pushing my parenting rage buttons these days. Top 5 to date are as follows:

1. Bow trying to sit down every 0.00046 seconds when I'm washing him in the bath. "Stand up Bow" wash half a square centimetre of his belly. "Stand UP Bow" wash another half a square centimetre of his belly. "STAAAAND up Bow" wash another half a square centimetre of his belly. "STAND. Up. Bowwwwww." wash another half a square centimetre of his belly. For the love if all that Cadburys WHY WON'T THIS CHILD JUST KEEP UPRIGHT FOR THE 15 SECONDS I NEED TO GET BELLY, BACK AND BUM! 

2. Euna giving me attitude for not being able to answer totally unanswerable questions. Example...
"Mummy who's that?" Points at stranger in the street who we drive past.
"I don't know, it's a girl"
"Why is it not Lola?" Her cousin who looks nothing like this girl and lives 30 miles from where we are and would have no place being there.
"Because Lola is at school."
"WHY?" shouting.
"Because it's a school day."
"Well it is darling." Gritting teeth, why the hell am I being spoken to like this? 
"SAYYYY IT'S LOLAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Screaming. Head spinning. Ectoplasm fills the car. 
Like really. I gave you life and I'm getting screamed for why? Because that stranger isn't Lola? Because it's a school day? Because Lola is of school age? 

3. Changing choices. Apple Mummy! Here's an apple. NO! Take apple away. Screams for apple. Gives apple back. Lobs apple. That's a bruised apple now, it was one of my posh Pink Lady apples that comes in cardboard display packaging, I was looking forward to that apple. Screams for apple. DO YOU WANT THIS APPLE? NO!!! WHAT THEN?! Rips off own arm and beats self in the face with it. 

4. The average decade it takes for them to get in the car. They won't be lifted in. If they're lifted in they'll literally scream until my ears bleed for whatever journey we're due on. The thing is I haven't left the required 4 days I needed to get to where we're going if I'm going to wait for them to get in unaided. Literally, wind erosion will vanish the car before we will have the chance to pull of the drive. And I'm too anal about time keeping to let it go, so I WILL lift one or both in the car, it's just a matter of time. We'll only be mildly late (which is on time when adjusted to Mum-o'clock) but I'll arrive deaf. If I had a superpower it'd be to have Jedi mind powers just to get them in the fudging car. 

5. Euna saying she dislikes every single dinner that's put in front of her despite the fact it might even be her favourite ever food and she is actually a good eater. But initial reaction? Always always ALWAYS "I don't like it". Genuinely fantasise about pulling a cream pie from behind my back and cream pie-ing her in the face and saying "TAKE THAT THEN!" 

Writing is therapy. What would you cream pie your kid for?

And as is the nature of parenting, you swing right from cream pie in the face moments to overwhelming deep in your gut oh-the-heavens-look-at-the-perfect-mircale-specimins-of-life-I-made!!! Here's some of those moments, spent down at Marsh Farm with friends... 

If you would like more information about my photography and the portrait sessions I offer, please see my website

Thursday, 14 July 2016

Abbie & Gabriel - Maternity Portraiture in Essex & Suffolk

I really love these natural light, lifestyle maternity sessions... All simple, focus on bump, mum's profile, soft and lovely natural light. 

If you would like more information about my maternity and newborn photography, please see my website.


Thursday, 7 July 2016

Windows to Motherhood #4 Sarah

This is Sarah...

"I have a three year old son who is very bright and energetic, cheeky and very much a chatterbox. He’s on the go all the time, never sits still and keen to explore! (Mother like son!!) He is fascinated by nature and the world, in particular the sea and its creatures. Whales and sharks are a favourite and he gets very excited if he sees any on the television or in his books. Visiting the aquarium in Southend and the zoo at Colchester is great fun as he's so enthusiastic."

"I am an older mum. I always put career first and never thought I would get married or have children. I had so much to see and do and never felt ready. I then met my husband and 7 years later we married. In 2011 we discussed having children, the time felt right. We'd travelled together, had a home together, work was just work now and I think I was fed up of the rat race and long hours. I was scared of the change, but excited. I fell pregnant straight away, but sadly had an early miscarriage. We tried again and I fell pregnant a few months later, however the pregnancy journey for me was marred by the anxiety of a possible miscarriage again and poor care in my first 20 weeks from my GP. Even though I can't say I enjoyed much of the pregnancy and the birth was difficult, our son arrived strong and healthy and I took everything in my stride after that."

"I’m a mum, I'm a part time graphic designer and I’m a runner. I run my own business from home, but occasionally work in other studios. Before our son was born we converted the garage into my office/studio to make working from home easier. Working from home allows some juggling and means I can spend more time with our son."

"I find the whole juggling act quite tiring at times and I have also been very overwhelmed too. I am able to shut the door on work after I’ve picked our son up from nursery. Once he’s around I don’t work. I do my best to be quite strict about this. Doesn’t stop me feeling guilty about working, even though it’s only for a couple of days. Having said that I don’t work just for the money, it’s to keep my hand in for the future when he’s at school. (I have a small printing press I’m hoping to get up an running & be creative with, rather than a bit of a Mac Monkey)."

"I’m on the go all the time. I feel that we never stop. Having our son has made me a more patient, calmer person. I realise a lot more what is important in life and what isn’t now... I’d say I was an enthusiastic, supportive, loving mum. Until you have a child you don’t realise how much love you can have for that little person. I want to travel with our son and share lots of experiences with him. One thing I know is I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so glad he’s in our lives. I find being a mother rewarding and frustrating at times."

"After I had our son, it (my body) didn’t phase me. I knew once I’d recovered from the c-section and had the all clear I would start running again to get my fitness and shape back. I knew it would take time and my goal was London Marathon 2014. I did it in under 4 hours, it was my toughest marathon yet, but it was a massive sense of achievement. I trained with and around our son, at times running with him in the buggy. By Mid 2015 I was almost back to my pre pregnancy fitness and was very happy about my body. I think exercise helps you both mentally and physically." 

"Sadly I don’t feel quite the same at the moment. Having suffered a missed miscarriage this March, I’m feeling quite blobby and I feel I’ve lost so much.  I felt duped by my body the day we went for the 12 week scan, only to be told there was no heart beat. My body had lead me to believe all was well and I had even started to show. I’ve dragged myself back out running again, it makes you feel better, clears the mind and you know you’re working your way back to fitness again. My body and I feel a bit in limbo land at the moment."

 "Having gone from never going to get married or have children, I’m now married, have one child and would love to give our son a sibling. I hope it’s not too late and we get another chance."

"I think motherhood sadly makes you even more aware of how cruel the world is. Having said that motherhood also makes you see the beauty in your surrounding area. I have explored so many new places locally, that I might never have done prior to having our son."

"Motherhood is one big rollercoaster of a ride! Good days, bad days, crazy days, sad days, scary days, funny days. It’s a non-stop, mixed up bag of surprises. Each day is like Forest Gump's quote 'Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get'. One minute the bathroom has been flooded, dinner has been burnt, to the next minute your heart melts as he takes his first steps or says a new word. The best experience is his big cuddles and when he says 'I love you Mummy'."

"I had no expectations. I really didn’t know what to expect, I had nothing to compare motherhood to. Most of my friends had their children earlier and I’m from a small family so, I never experienced much time around babies and very young children. No one can really prepare you. You make your own way. It’s definitely life changing, but in a good way." 

"I was 38 when I had Noah, and all I know is I wouldn’t change a thing. I said I wouldn’t have another baby after Noah, maybe it was because the birth was tough and resulted in the c-section and I felt quite rough for weeks after. They’re right when they say time heals as last year something inside me changed and I realised I wanted Noah to have a sibling, so we decided to give it a try…I hope we can add to our little family and start another chapter. Having a child makes you realise that material things aren’t important, they are meaningless, it’s the experiences and memories that are of greater value."

Thank you Sarah xxx

Windows to Motherhood is an ongoing film photography project. You can see #1, #2 and #3 or all editions here. If you would like to know or get involved and tell your story please get in touch at 

If you would like more information on portrait sessions or any of my other photography services please see my website.

Friday, 1 July 2016

Baby Ava - Newborn Portraiture in Essex & Suffolk

"A happy baby has shining eyes. It walks open hearted into the world and spreads magic." Sigrid Leo

Oh this little peach! Little Ava and if you really look she's has sweetest, teenie, tiny smile in almost every shot! Just a few short days and smiling the day away... 

If you would like more information about my newborn photography, please see my website.

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