Saturday, 17 September 2016

Windows to Motherhood #6 Becky

This is Becky...

"Cameron Ethan Daniel was born on the 7th March 2016 and is three months old today. He is our first surviving child, our rainbow baby following two losses."

"I sadly lost two previous pregnancies, in September 2014 I had an ectopic pregnancy and was admitted to hospital and had an emergency operation to remove the pregnancy and my right§ tube. In May 2015 I had an early miscarriage at six weeks, then falling pregnant unexpectedly with Cameron the very next month. With Cameron, I had a straight forward pregnancy, obviously a very nervous few months at the beginning but after a good 12 week scan, we started to believe it would happen for us this time round. I was still nervous, at the 20 week scan we found out we were having a boy and initially I was upset (I cried when we walked out of the scan) as I think I thought I wanted a girl, but I had time to come to terms with this before he was born and obviously now I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Cameron was five days late and I was very lucky to have the water birth I had planned, using hypnobirthing for pain relief. I went into early labour on the saturday, went into hospital in the early hours of sunday morning and was sent home as I was only 1-2cm dilated. Spent Sunday in bed, snuggled up with lots of pillows, using a tens machine for pain relief. By sunday evening, at around 8pm, the surges were getting stronger, I had a bath and my husband decided it was time to go to hospital. We packed the car up and off we went! I was examined and found to still only be 3-4cm dilated, so was told to go home or go for a walk round the hospital and get examined in another couple of hours. We chose to stay and go for a walk, then when the surges got so strong that I was finding it hard to walk, we headed back and fortunately I was 5cm dilated and in active labour so we were admitted to the Juno ward. The midwife ran the water pool for me and I got in the pool. I was in labour for 13 hours and Cameron was born at 2.54pm on Monday 7th March, with only gas and air, my husband's support and using the breathing techniques we had learnt in the hypnobirthing classes we attended at Colchester Hospital."

"Cameron struggled to feed for the first five days, only starting to breastfeed on day five. I am so glad I persevered and I had amazing support from family and the midwives who supported my decision and didn't force me to formula feed him."

"Before I went on maternity leave, I worked full time in London at Central Saint Martin's as a Technical Coordinator in the Fashion & Textiles department. I am unsure if it a viable option for me to return to work due to commuting and childcare costs, so I have started my own home based health and wellness business, sharing premium skincare, nutrition and make up products with others and teaching others how to do the same. I plan to use this to allow me to stay at home with Cameron whilst he is little. My husband is a full time student in his first year, we are hoping he can continue for the remaining two years if I am able to find something that brings in enough money to support him do this whilst he studies and works part time."

"My job is very admin/office based now but I come from a creative, practical background and would like to raise Cameron to be able to explore his creativity and develop a love of all things cultural. I have spent over 20 years getting to where I am now in my career but since deciding to start a family, my priorities have changed and I want to be able to spend time with Cameron whilst he is young, being there for him instead of putting him in childcare five days a week."

"As an older Mother (I am 38, turning 39 in July), I am approaching motherhood with age on my side! I like to be informed and arm myself with as much information as I can, undertaking research and looking at lots of different sources, to base my decisions on. I have been told by a few people so far that I seem to be approaching motherhood very calmly, I think it helps that I have a relatively easy baby, who so far has been very good at sleeping at night-time! I am breastfeeding on demand and would like to keep Cameron's diet as natural as possible once he starts weaning. I have lots of food allergies so am unsure how this will affect him, so far he has been fine, fingers crossed he inherited his Dad's strong constitution!"

 "I amazed myself that I was able to give birth with no pain relief apart from gas and air, I think positive thinking went a long way towards helping me achieve this and I have the upmost respect now for the power of the mind. I lost my extra weight quite quickly, so much so I actually was concerned at how quickly I was losing weight and am back down just over my pre pregnancy weight now. I have some stretch marks but as I had quite a few scars anyway from an appendix removal in my twenties and my ectopic pregnancy, I'm not too worried and I am using an amazing cream from the company I now work for on them which has helped them look loads better! I am struggling to find clothes that fit and as money is tight, I can't just go out and buy a whole new wardrobe like the magazines tell you too, so I do get frustrated some days with finding something to wear and have to admit to crying and having a massive strop every now and again. My husband is lovely and tells me I look beautiful, which although I dismiss his comments, it is nice to hear."

"I was always quite cautious and risk averse naturally anyway but now I am even more aware of dangers around us. I was brought up with quite a strict upbringing, which on the whole I was okay with but I am aware that some things I wasn't "allowed" to do have impacted how I am as an adult. I would like to give Cameron a bit more freedom than I had, within safe parameters and with my husbands help, hope we can parent together to allow Cameron to safely explore his environment and allow him to grow and develop his own ideas and personality without imposing our/my own anxieties on him. I struggle to make friends and don't have a wide social circle, growing up I was;t encouraged to have friends over and I think this impacted how I feel about having people round, I don't want Cameron to have this and will encourage him to have friends over."

"It is the simultaneously the most amazing, terrifying, exhausting, rewarding and uplifting experience I've ever had. I am on a constant learning curve, I have met some lovely people as a result of having a new baby and it doesn't matter how tired you are, it all goes away the minute your son smiles at you. The responsibility of this little person, who is solely reliant on you for his food, comfort and safety is quite a lot to take on board but I wouldn't change it for the world."

"I have wanted to be a Mum for as long as I can remember, for me it didn't happen until later in life so I had a long time to think about how I would feel as a parent. I still look at Cameron and wonder how on earth I made something so little and gorgeous, I can't imagine my life without him, it feels like he's been here always - I'm not sure what I used to do with all my time!"

Thank you Becky xxx

Windows to Motherhood is an ongoing 35mm film photography project. You can see #1, #2#3, #4 and #5 or all editions here. If you would like to know or get involved and tell your story please get in touch at 

If you would like more information on portrait sessions or any of my other photography services please see my website.

Sunday, 11 September 2016

Fun in the North Devonshire Sun & Drizzle...

With all the best intentions I started the summer ready to capture and inhale these kiddos. It's Euna's last summer before school. It's Bow's last summer as the baby. It's the only Summer 2016 we'll ever have. And you know... The old they-grow-up-so-fast chestnut. *Sigh*

Beach house booked. Camera. All varieties of plastic beach toy imaginable. Check, check and check. A few in car dance parties (and tantrums) along slow moving M4 traffic and we're in (kinda) sunny Devon prepped for fun. It was 4 weeks ago now, so it's reeeeeeally easy to paint a non-exhausting picture of all this. because I was and it was. We hit the summer hard and I said to Steve "I genuinely can't wait to sit down all day tomorrow" the day before we drove home. 

But it was 4 weeks ago and so in my mind (and in my pictures) it was just all fun in the sun and Devonshire drizzle. Here we are all over the North Devon coast; Woolacombe, Ilfracombe, Lynton & Lynmouth... 

If you would like more information on portrait sessions or any of my other photography services please see my website.

Saturday, 10 September 2016

Baby Georgie - Newborn Portraiture in Essex & Suffolk

Oh these girls... What a lucky little lady to have such a wonderful big sister to welcome you to world?! 

Here's baby Georgie...

If you would like more information about my newborn photography, please see my website or email me (Charlie)

Saturday, 20 August 2016

Walking Snowdon...

Disclaimer - This post contains NO images of babies or children. 

Whaaaaaaaaat?! I know right?! 

So we went away for the weekend! 2 nights! 2 whole sleepovers, elsewhere, without children. Stranger things have not happened, I am sure of it. 

Observations from out first real weekend away? Firstly, mornings are weird without kids. Quiet and weird and I really don't know how to start my day without being told how, when and with what coloured bowl to start my day. Secondly, Steve and I are now inherently busy people. We were pretty productive people before children I suppose but now we are obsessively, compulsively busy people. We can't sit still, we don't know how to and, despite having been tired for almost 5 years now, we don't want to. Also, biggest surprise... I didn't miss them. There's a version of me walking around in 2012 and 2013 who is so so in love with new motherhood and new babies and the whole baby bubble who would literally fall down in shock at 2016 me saying "I didn't miss them". I won't lie though. I didn't pine, I didn't worry, I had every trust this break meant all great things for everyone involved. 

Finally I learnt that I am no landscape photographer, but it was fun pretending for the day. :)

So here we are busy, childless, having such a hard time relaxing we climbed a mountain... 

If you would like to know more about my photography why not like my Facebook page or check out my website

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Windows to Motherhood #5 Yasmine

This is Yasmine...

"I have two beautiful boys called George and Jackson.  George will be 2 next month and Jackson is 8 months old.  They could not be more different.  George is a bundle of energy who constantly wants to be stimulated and Jackson is chilled out in every single way, he takes things in his stride. My boys are Yin and Yang, their connection however, most days is perfect."

Motherhood began the day we saw that positive sign on the test.  Even though it seemed so surreal and not possible.  The little speck of cells was my child in that instant and it was my job to nurture and protect it in anyway I could."

"We own our own business so officially I work two days a week but realistically there are no set hours.  Sometimes I have to work whilst the boys nap or are engaged in an activity. It makes me feel torn at times.  Our business is what allows us to have the lifestyle we have and provides us with our beautiful home so I know that I need to work on aspects to help make it a success but the distraction it creates from being 100% present is hard.  Its a hard situation to understand if you don't have your own business, you can't just clock off at 5:30pm, come home and relax there is constantly something to discuss, do or resolve."

"I would love to tell you that I am Mary Poppins and I have the patience of a saint but I don't.  I'm caring, loving and devoted to my children but I'm also impatient and get frustrated easily.  Every day I feel guilty for not doing something right; feeding Jackson a jar instead of a home made concoction, letting George watch the 'Gruffalo' one too many times but I also know that in that instant and in that moment I'm doing the best that I know how to do.  No one tells you the inner conflict and turmoil you experience as a mother and even if they did, you can't empathise until you make the journey yourself."

"I've never been overly confident with my body anyway but whilst pregnant I was the most confident with it that I have ever been. Two pregnancies pretty much back to back did leave me feeling a little ravaged to say the least!  I'm also not ashamed to admit that now I am finished having babies I am on a mission to reclaim my body.  It's seen two births in two years and is now receiving the TLC it deserves for giving me my beautiful boys."

"My mind changes daily as a mother. My beliefs about everything flip and twist constantly.  It has taught my mind to be more fluid, more flexible and more giving in approaches to everything.  Going into motherhood I had a very set belief of how I was going to be and how my child was to be raised and the actual reality is so far removed from that, its actually quite scary."

"The world has become so much more of a fearful place.  Situations that you don't even think about pre baby are the ones that occupy your mind.  Every situation comes with an element of danger.  That being said it also makes you appreciate the simple things, the world around us is there to be explored and there is no better way to do than with your children."

"As clich├ęd  as it sounds, motherhood to me is a roller coaster. I can be laughing at the boy's antics one minute and crying the next. The emotions I feel towards my boys leave knots in my belly and the thought of anything happening to them, leaves me gasping for breath. Nothing can ever prepare you for the experience you are about to embark on.  These little beings are your whole world and to a certain degree become your identity.  They in no uncertain terms, my everything."

"The expectation I had of motherhood pre children is so far removed from the reality that I can't even remember what it was! Nothing can explain the love you feel for your children.  You know you will love your children but nothing compares to the bolt of sheer adoration and infatuation when you look into your child's eyes."

Thank you Yasmine xxx

Windows to Motherhood is an ongoing film photography project. You can see #1, #2#3 and #4 or all editions here. If you would like to know or get involved and tell your story please get in touch at 

If you would like more information on portrait sessions or any of my other photography services please see my website.


Saturday, 13 August 2016

Some Summering... Crabbing on Mersea

Summer is summering then! Off we go! We had our summer holiday bucket list, our good intentions, bags of energy, new sun hats, friends throwing plans back and forward, we were ready for this! Weren't we?!

Ok... The beach trip didn't go as it should have. We left that play date early, screaming, apologising and explaining incessant ingratitude away with "they're just so tired"! The BBQ was rained indoors and sausages at the dining table is just kind of lame. I'm not sure if they're over-stimulated or under-structured? Tired or just plain spoilt? Do they need a day at home or a big day out? It's fine Mummies! It's a lot and every single one of us putting too much pressure on it, guaranteed. But we can rebuild from here. Actually it's going much better than you think. 

The great thing about kids is I am absolutely certain they don't remember your stress in the slightest. If you had to kill yourself walking up a massive sandy hill to the only public loos on the beach every 20 minutes (BECAUSE SERIOUSLY BOW HOW SMALL IS YOUR BLADDER?!) they don't remember it, they didn't even register your heavy breathing at the time. If you forgot the wipes and had to walk around in your t-shirt as their ice-cream facial cloth for the entire day, they don't remember that either. I know they moaned that the park was "not the good park, it's just a rubbish one" when they got there but they don't remember it. 

And here's the thing... I am certain that when my Mum reminisces about summer holidays with me and my sister and she talks about all about the car loads of kids her and the other mums took swimming or walking or PYO-ing she does not remember the stresses either. Now my Mum is incredible, that's indisputable, but there was no magical time in history where moaning didn't exist for kids and tiredness didn't exist for parents. She lived it then like we're living it now. But she doesn't remember it like that. Now she looks at me with eyes that only see magical memories of my childhood and tells me "I loved the summer holidays!

No one's lying here though. She did love the summer holidays. We love the summer holidays. She was however equally exhausted and overwhelmed and a tiny bit disappointed the whole time though. As are we. But we won't remember that part like she doesn't remember that part. We'll colour it all hazy pink in our minds like Mum has and all that will matter is that we did it. And kids... Well kids figure everything out faster than us, they colour it all pink 20 seconds after it's happened! So don't worry about them, they're having a blast (even though they say"this park is just so much yuck" :P).

When in doubt Mummies... Pimms. Is kind of pink and it will aid the romancing-the-summer-memories process. Studies have proven this a true fact. 

And here we are summering away on West Mersea Crabbing Pier, it's already a better memory in my head... Bow did try and throw himself in the sea every 4 seconds and I wanted to rip my own tongue out after I said "Euna you can't take the crabs home" 697 times... But that's already just amusing rather than irritating in my head! And I didn't even lubricate the process with Pimms that time! ;)

If you would like to know more about my photography why not like my Facebook page or check out my website

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