Saturday, 17 September 2016

Windows to Motherhood #6 Becky

This is Becky...

"Cameron Ethan Daniel was born on the 7th March 2016 and is three months old today. He is our first surviving child, our rainbow baby following two losses."

"I sadly lost two previous pregnancies, in September 2014 I had an ectopic pregnancy and was admitted to hospital and had an emergency operation to remove the pregnancy and my right§ tube. In May 2015 I had an early miscarriage at six weeks, then falling pregnant unexpectedly with Cameron the very next month. With Cameron, I had a straight forward pregnancy, obviously a very nervous few months at the beginning but after a good 12 week scan, we started to believe it would happen for us this time round. I was still nervous, at the 20 week scan we found out we were having a boy and initially I was upset (I cried when we walked out of the scan) as I think I thought I wanted a girl, but I had time to come to terms with this before he was born and obviously now I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Cameron was five days late and I was very lucky to have the water birth I had planned, using hypnobirthing for pain relief. I went into early labour on the saturday, went into hospital in the early hours of sunday morning and was sent home as I was only 1-2cm dilated. Spent Sunday in bed, snuggled up with lots of pillows, using a tens machine for pain relief. By sunday evening, at around 8pm, the surges were getting stronger, I had a bath and my husband decided it was time to go to hospital. We packed the car up and off we went! I was examined and found to still only be 3-4cm dilated, so was told to go home or go for a walk round the hospital and get examined in another couple of hours. We chose to stay and go for a walk, then when the surges got so strong that I was finding it hard to walk, we headed back and fortunately I was 5cm dilated and in active labour so we were admitted to the Juno ward. The midwife ran the water pool for me and I got in the pool. I was in labour for 13 hours and Cameron was born at 2.54pm on Monday 7th March, with only gas and air, my husband's support and using the breathing techniques we had learnt in the hypnobirthing classes we attended at Colchester Hospital."

"Cameron struggled to feed for the first five days, only starting to breastfeed on day five. I am so glad I persevered and I had amazing support from family and the midwives who supported my decision and didn't force me to formula feed him."

"Before I went on maternity leave, I worked full time in London at Central Saint Martin's as a Technical Coordinator in the Fashion & Textiles department. I am unsure if it a viable option for me to return to work due to commuting and childcare costs, so I have started my own home based health and wellness business, sharing premium skincare, nutrition and make up products with others and teaching others how to do the same. I plan to use this to allow me to stay at home with Cameron whilst he is little. My husband is a full time student in his first year, we are hoping he can continue for the remaining two years if I am able to find something that brings in enough money to support him do this whilst he studies and works part time."

"My job is very admin/office based now but I come from a creative, practical background and would like to raise Cameron to be able to explore his creativity and develop a love of all things cultural. I have spent over 20 years getting to where I am now in my career but since deciding to start a family, my priorities have changed and I want to be able to spend time with Cameron whilst he is young, being there for him instead of putting him in childcare five days a week."

"As an older Mother (I am 38, turning 39 in July), I am approaching motherhood with age on my side! I like to be informed and arm myself with as much information as I can, undertaking research and looking at lots of different sources, to base my decisions on. I have been told by a few people so far that I seem to be approaching motherhood very calmly, I think it helps that I have a relatively easy baby, who so far has been very good at sleeping at night-time! I am breastfeeding on demand and would like to keep Cameron's diet as natural as possible once he starts weaning. I have lots of food allergies so am unsure how this will affect him, so far he has been fine, fingers crossed he inherited his Dad's strong constitution!"

 "I amazed myself that I was able to give birth with no pain relief apart from gas and air, I think positive thinking went a long way towards helping me achieve this and I have the upmost respect now for the power of the mind. I lost my extra weight quite quickly, so much so I actually was concerned at how quickly I was losing weight and am back down just over my pre pregnancy weight now. I have some stretch marks but as I had quite a few scars anyway from an appendix removal in my twenties and my ectopic pregnancy, I'm not too worried and I am using an amazing cream from the company I now work for on them which has helped them look loads better! I am struggling to find clothes that fit and as money is tight, I can't just go out and buy a whole new wardrobe like the magazines tell you too, so I do get frustrated some days with finding something to wear and have to admit to crying and having a massive strop every now and again. My husband is lovely and tells me I look beautiful, which although I dismiss his comments, it is nice to hear."

"I was always quite cautious and risk averse naturally anyway but now I am even more aware of dangers around us. I was brought up with quite a strict upbringing, which on the whole I was okay with but I am aware that some things I wasn't "allowed" to do have impacted how I am as an adult. I would like to give Cameron a bit more freedom than I had, within safe parameters and with my husbands help, hope we can parent together to allow Cameron to safely explore his environment and allow him to grow and develop his own ideas and personality without imposing our/my own anxieties on him. I struggle to make friends and don't have a wide social circle, growing up I was;t encouraged to have friends over and I think this impacted how I feel about having people round, I don't want Cameron to have this and will encourage him to have friends over."

"It is the simultaneously the most amazing, terrifying, exhausting, rewarding and uplifting experience I've ever had. I am on a constant learning curve, I have met some lovely people as a result of having a new baby and it doesn't matter how tired you are, it all goes away the minute your son smiles at you. The responsibility of this little person, who is solely reliant on you for his food, comfort and safety is quite a lot to take on board but I wouldn't change it for the world."

"I have wanted to be a Mum for as long as I can remember, for me it didn't happen until later in life so I had a long time to think about how I would feel as a parent. I still look at Cameron and wonder how on earth I made something so little and gorgeous, I can't imagine my life without him, it feels like he's been here always - I'm not sure what I used to do with all my time!"

Thank you Becky xxx

Windows to Motherhood is an ongoing 35mm film photography project. You can see #1, #2#3, #4 and #5 or all editions here. If you would like to know or get involved and tell your story please get in touch at 

If you would like more information on portrait sessions or any of my other photography services please see my website.

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