Saturday, 20 August 2016

Walking Snowdon...

Disclaimer - This post contains NO images of babies or children. 

Whaaaaaaaaat?! I know right?! 

So we went away for the weekend! 2 nights! 2 whole sleepovers, elsewhere, without children. Stranger things have not happened, I am sure of it. 

Observations from out first real weekend away? Firstly, mornings are weird without kids. Quiet and weird and I really don't know how to start my day without being told how, when and with what coloured bowl to start my day. Secondly, Steve and I are now inherently busy people. We were pretty productive people before children I suppose but now we are obsessively, compulsively busy people. We can't sit still, we don't know how to and, despite having been tired for almost 5 years now, we don't want to. Also, biggest surprise... I didn't miss them. There's a version of me walking around in 2012 and 2013 who is so so in love with new motherhood and new babies and the whole baby bubble who would literally fall down in shock at 2016 me saying "I didn't miss them". I won't lie though. I didn't pine, I didn't worry, I had every trust this break meant all great things for everyone involved. 

Finally I learnt that I am no landscape photographer, but it was fun pretending for the day. :)

So here we are busy, childless, having such a hard time relaxing we climbed a mountain... 

If you would like to know more about my photography why not like my Facebook page or check out my website

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Windows to Motherhood #5 Yasmine

This is Yasmine...

"I have two beautiful boys called George and Jackson.  George will be 2 next month and Jackson is 8 months old.  They could not be more different.  George is a bundle of energy who constantly wants to be stimulated and Jackson is chilled out in every single way, he takes things in his stride. My boys are Yin and Yang, their connection however, most days is perfect."

Motherhood began the day we saw that positive sign on the test.  Even though it seemed so surreal and not possible.  The little speck of cells was my child in that instant and it was my job to nurture and protect it in anyway I could."

"We own our own business so officially I work two days a week but realistically there are no set hours.  Sometimes I have to work whilst the boys nap or are engaged in an activity. It makes me feel torn at times.  Our business is what allows us to have the lifestyle we have and provides us with our beautiful home so I know that I need to work on aspects to help make it a success but the distraction it creates from being 100% present is hard.  Its a hard situation to understand if you don't have your own business, you can't just clock off at 5:30pm, come home and relax there is constantly something to discuss, do or resolve."

"I would love to tell you that I am Mary Poppins and I have the patience of a saint but I don't.  I'm caring, loving and devoted to my children but I'm also impatient and get frustrated easily.  Every day I feel guilty for not doing something right; feeding Jackson a jar instead of a home made concoction, letting George watch the 'Gruffalo' one too many times but I also know that in that instant and in that moment I'm doing the best that I know how to do.  No one tells you the inner conflict and turmoil you experience as a mother and even if they did, you can't empathise until you make the journey yourself."

"I've never been overly confident with my body anyway but whilst pregnant I was the most confident with it that I have ever been. Two pregnancies pretty much back to back did leave me feeling a little ravaged to say the least!  I'm also not ashamed to admit that now I am finished having babies I am on a mission to reclaim my body.  It's seen two births in two years and is now receiving the TLC it deserves for giving me my beautiful boys."

"My mind changes daily as a mother. My beliefs about everything flip and twist constantly.  It has taught my mind to be more fluid, more flexible and more giving in approaches to everything.  Going into motherhood I had a very set belief of how I was going to be and how my child was to be raised and the actual reality is so far removed from that, its actually quite scary."

"The world has become so much more of a fearful place.  Situations that you don't even think about pre baby are the ones that occupy your mind.  Every situation comes with an element of danger.  That being said it also makes you appreciate the simple things, the world around us is there to be explored and there is no better way to do than with your children."

"As clich├ęd  as it sounds, motherhood to me is a roller coaster. I can be laughing at the boy's antics one minute and crying the next. The emotions I feel towards my boys leave knots in my belly and the thought of anything happening to them, leaves me gasping for breath. Nothing can ever prepare you for the experience you are about to embark on.  These little beings are your whole world and to a certain degree become your identity.  They in no uncertain terms, my everything."

"The expectation I had of motherhood pre children is so far removed from the reality that I can't even remember what it was! Nothing can explain the love you feel for your children.  You know you will love your children but nothing compares to the bolt of sheer adoration and infatuation when you look into your child's eyes."

Thank you Yasmine xxx

Windows to Motherhood is an ongoing film photography project. You can see #1, #2#3 and #4 or all editions here. If you would like to know or get involved and tell your story please get in touch at 

If you would like more information on portrait sessions or any of my other photography services please see my website.


Saturday, 13 August 2016

Some Summering... Crabbing on Mersea

Summer is summering then! Off we go! We had our summer holiday bucket list, our good intentions, bags of energy, new sun hats, friends throwing plans back and forward, we were ready for this! Weren't we?!

Ok... The beach trip didn't go as it should have. We left that play date early, screaming, apologising and explaining incessant ingratitude away with "they're just so tired"! The BBQ was rained indoors and sausages at the dining table is just kind of lame. I'm not sure if they're over-stimulated or under-structured? Tired or just plain spoilt? Do they need a day at home or a big day out? It's fine Mummies! It's a lot and every single one of us putting too much pressure on it, guaranteed. But we can rebuild from here. Actually it's going much better than you think. 

The great thing about kids is I am absolutely certain they don't remember your stress in the slightest. If you had to kill yourself walking up a massive sandy hill to the only public loos on the beach every 20 minutes (BECAUSE SERIOUSLY BOW HOW SMALL IS YOUR BLADDER?!) they don't remember it, they didn't even register your heavy breathing at the time. If you forgot the wipes and had to walk around in your t-shirt as their ice-cream facial cloth for the entire day, they don't remember that either. I know they moaned that the park was "not the good park, it's just a rubbish one" when they got there but they don't remember it. 

And here's the thing... I am certain that when my Mum reminisces about summer holidays with me and my sister and she talks about all about the car loads of kids her and the other mums took swimming or walking or PYO-ing she does not remember the stresses either. Now my Mum is incredible, that's indisputable, but there was no magical time in history where moaning didn't exist for kids and tiredness didn't exist for parents. She lived it then like we're living it now. But she doesn't remember it like that. Now she looks at me with eyes that only see magical memories of my childhood and tells me "I loved the summer holidays!

No one's lying here though. She did love the summer holidays. We love the summer holidays. She was however equally exhausted and overwhelmed and a tiny bit disappointed the whole time though. As are we. But we won't remember that part like she doesn't remember that part. We'll colour it all hazy pink in our minds like Mum has and all that will matter is that we did it. And kids... Well kids figure everything out faster than us, they colour it all pink 20 seconds after it's happened! So don't worry about them, they're having a blast (even though they say"this park is just so much yuck" :P).

When in doubt Mummies... Pimms. Is kind of pink and it will aid the romancing-the-summer-memories process. Studies have proven this a true fact. 

And here we are summering away on West Mersea Crabbing Pier, it's already a better memory in my head... Bow did try and throw himself in the sea every 4 seconds and I wanted to rip my own tongue out after I said "Euna you can't take the crabs home" 697 times... But that's already just amusing rather than irritating in my head! And I didn't even lubricate the process with Pimms that time! ;)

If you would like to know more about my photography why not like my Facebook page or check out my website

Monday, 8 August 2016

Baby Leo - Newborn Portraiture in Essex & Suffolk

Watching these brand new tiny people, editing their pictures, looking and looking at their little snoozing faces I can only think about the potential that lies there. So quiet now. So content to just be there. Maybe they'll eat. Maybe they'll need s little wriggle. But essentially they're just contented be still, breathe and cosy in their own little world of dreams we'll never know about. 

What a sense of peace to find. That's why we lose hours looking at them. That's why our wonderful well meaning baby visitors stay 6 or 7 hours longer than they meant to. That's why the washing goes damp in the machine or tea goes cold. We just want to be near it. Enjoying it for them. Imagining it for ourselves. That peace. 

Because soon, all too soon, they'll wake up. Really wake up. Their eyes, ears and little minds will wonder about and then it'll all start. :)

Here's little Leo, a few short days old and powering up for when all his adventures will start... 

If you would like more information about my newborn photography, please see my website.

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